Bicyclemax.

At the risk of sounding like some nut, one of the latest CarMax commercials really bugs me. You know the ones where there’s some allegedly outdated mode of transportation, someone wants to buy one, and then the dealer (HorseMax or BicycleMax) have some policy similar to CarMax. “Why didn’t someone think of this before?” the customer wonders aloud. There is one with chariots, which, Okay, I think we’d all call an outdated mode of transportation. But then these commercials claim the same thing about horses and camels, which is certainly saying something to people who live in lands where these beasts really are a means of transportation. I suppose you could argue that the commercials are meant for an American audience, and no one here rides camels to work, so no harm, no fowl. But no one in this country ever needed a camel dealer for transportation. That does not work. They are totally saying that cars are the highest and most modern form of transportation. Not just any car. A used car from CarMax.

Which is why the one about bikes makes me mad. It has some big-toothed Victorian wankers talking about comfort, French cheese, bringing a bike back if you don’t like it, etc. The implication is that bikes are an outdated means of getting around, one that, with the rest of the commercials, I think counts as more of a statement. That those of us on bikes that are actually more modern than the Planet Killers a lot of people drive are somehow old-fashioned. That we are ugly ladies who want a pillow under our butts and a creepy mustached guy riding around with us.

Watch the video here.

I don’t know. They are in the business of selling cars, so maybe they are threatened by the fact that more bikes are sold yearly than cars. Maybe they deliberately targeted cycling. Maybe what’s next is like the anti-global warming morons who try to sell us jacked-up science. Maybe Ford and GM will start funding studies about cycling as unhealthy, dangerous, etc.

Or maybe they’ll want in on the action and start making bikes, which would be pretty nice. Those companies have a lot of money they could invest in infrastructure. GM got rid of streetcars and got buses into major cities. Maybe they could get bikes there, too. Not to mention the sweet designs they might be able to come up with. A Mustang bike?!

0% Financing on all new 2008 bikes! Taxes and registration extra.

Professional driver. Closed course.10,000 mpg (EPA estimated)

Model shown with optional equipment.