Toaster fit.

Damn, I hate when toasters boast that they will fit any bread.
Any width.  Even “homemade” bread.  An English muffin.  Sometimes a bagel.
Even with those weird little S&M cages that grip bread like a lover, they are still actually designed for that boring, regular, white bread.  My French bread gets stuck and burns and makes a mess.  Real bagels turn to bricks.  The darkness selector is meaningless.
(I hope I’m still talking about toasters.)