Dear Lady in the Beat-Up Green Malibu:
It was pretty funny yesterday afternoon, how you blew your horn at me on my bike for a full second, as we approached 25th Street. It was a good joke when I was in the straight lane so as not to block folks making this legal right on red and how we weren’t even stopped yet. I’m so polite that I’m a joker. It was all very funny. How you couldn’t even make your turn after you scared the shit out of me because of the traffic. How we were uncomfortably face-to-face when my heart was racing and your window was open. I felt like I should say “Hello” or something. Oh, but I was laughing too hard inside!
Oh, and you were on your phone.
That’s why you were a bitch? Yeah. If I were a braver man, I’d have reached into your car and taken that phone. I wouldn’t have touched you. Don’t worry. But you’d never see that phone again. Part of me hopes that you got two flat tires or rear-ended a parked car and didn’t hurt anyone but instead caused yourself a lot of trouble. But that’s not the funny part of me.
Here’s to hoping that you dropped your phone later and that it was run over by the fattest cyclist in Baltimore.
Go to hell,
This Dude
Tags: Baltimore, bicycling, Bikes, biking, cell phones, Cycling, malibu
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October 17, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Network Geek
Should’ve taken the phone, told the person she was talking to on it “Sorry, she has to go now. She’s driving and needs to concentrate so she doesn’t run over someone on a bicycle. Bye.” and hung up. Then smiled at her, wished her a nice day and handed the phone back to her.
I’m a little crazy and, having survived cancer, have little fear of death. I think I might have done just that in your position.
October 17, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Johnny
I’m still getting my wits in rush hour traffic, but that would have been frikkin hilarious:)