I’m tired of people telling me what to do and then getting pissed off when I don’t do it — or even more angry at me when I get mad enough to raise my voice and assert myself just a little bit. Which I don’t do enough because I am a 30-year-old sissy. Guess what? I’M NOT YOU! I don’t tell anyone what to do or try to make tree-hugging, bike-riding vegetarians out of everyone I know.
Of course, being pregnant, this happens more than usual.
There is a difference between offering advice and telling us what we have to do. You’d think most people would be smart enough to figure this out.
Advice, I like. I’ve gotten and am getting very nice, friendly, helpful advice, even from people who I don’t necessary ask for it from. Advice on what kind of strollers people who like to take walks (like we do) would get use out of; good types of bottles; insight into the different kinds of reusable diapers around; hospitals to seek/avoid. Not to mention the wisdom I’m hoping to soak up from family members I respect and look up to. You know what they don’t do? Tell us what the hell to do. No, we are not getting a fucking car. No, we’re not feeding Baby meat, and you’re not a doctor, so I don’t give a shit what you think (the OB said it was fine). You think we should wait to find out the gender? Good for you. When I already told you we want to know, I wasn’t asking for your advice, and in fact it’s insulting that you think you know what I want more than I do.
I mean, I’m not just being closed-minded when I get pissed off about people thinking they know the best way to raise our child[ren] and that they best way to deliver this “wisdom” is to say, “Don’t give me that shit. You’re X.” You’re such a credit to your child-bearing methods. I’m open to advice but not being told what to do. I’ve succumbed to being told what to do enough times in my fucking life, and parenthood is where it stops.
You know what parellel I’m seeing? People who are being the nicest and the most helpful without being bossy are also people who, in my humble opinion, I consider to be GOOD PARENTS! (My parents included and some friends who are new parents and some people who don’t have kids but who I think would be good parents if they did).
Pre-baby “advice” is more for the edification of the “teller” than for your benefit. It was one of the most trying things to deal with.
And babies that don’t eat meat grow up to be wonderful, full grown men who pay thier own bills, and still call their mother on a regular basis. Ask me how I know.
I’m so excited for you all!
Now I want to know how you know! :)