Dear Loud Lady at Subway.

You can’t order something by pointing a finger at five sandwiches ten feet away on a board and saying, “Dat one.”  Also, when the meat guy has put like five kinds of meat on your bread, you sound bizarre when you ask, “Ain’t dere bacon on dat?”  Further, if you get pissed because you “wuuunt” a melt, you do have to actually use the word “melt” when you order.  Finally, when you say, “You’ll get it right next time,” don’t get surprised when your friends who are seated and waiting for  you talk smack about you in your absence — which they did.

You’re a bitch.

If I were the meat guy, you’d get spit, shit or worse in your next sandwich.

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