Okay now.  Despite my long-running blog, I am an introvert.  There.  I said it.  You know what that entails, so I won’t repeat it.  I have good friends and family members who are also introverts.  So I know how annoying we can be.  We aren’t verbal with our feelings.  We don’t like to go out much.  We hate meeting new people.  You have to try and “read” us because we don’t wear our hearts on our sleeves.  Etc.

“Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If so, do you tell this person he is ‘too serious,’ or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands-and that you aren’t caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.”  (more….)

I wonder sometimes if extroverts know how amazingly insufferable they can be.  I am talking about people who scarcely have a thought in their little heads that doesn’t manifest itself in words that whosoever is closest or the best listener has to sit through.  Sure, we introverts can be hard to figure out.  But we [generally] don’t dump all of our drama onto other people (save sometimes in blogs).  Then again.  I guess some extroverts would have to be told that they are annoying by another person because they’d never figure it out.  (Whereas an introvert would never listen and would have to figure it out him- or herself.  I know.)

I’ve gotten the impression that some extroverts I know actually look down on me because I’m not “forward” or “upfront,” because you can’t read my mind, because understanding an introvert requires one to actually listen, because I’m not very sociable or a good public speaker, etc.  If you’re an introvert, you’ve probably heard the same things from people who can’t seem to keep their mouths shut.

“Loners often hear from well-meaning peers that they need to be more social, but the implication that they’re merely black-and-white opposites of their bubbly peers misses the point. Introverts aren’t just less sociable than extroverts; they also engage with the world in fundamentally different ways. While outgoing people savor the nuances of social interaction, loners tend to focus more on their own ideas—and on stimuli that don’t register in the minds of others. Social engagement drains them, while quiet time gives them an energy boost.” (more….)

I find myself looking down on extreme examples of extroverts, too.  We look down on people who can’t read without doing it out loud.  I can’t help (it seems) but to look down on people who can’t think without doing so out loud.  I cannot  understand why someone would need an external sounding board for every little ache and pain, every source of stress, every decision.  I’m sure such a person would not be able to understand the need for privacy and alone time either and would probably think I’m creepy.  Fair enough.  But which takes more strength?  Or, is that even the point?

I don’t remember my point.  I just found articles while I was annoyed with extroverts.  Maybe.

Oh, yeah.  What’s more annoying than an extrovert?  (I think I might have said this before.)  An extrovert who thinks that she/he is an introvert!  I know at least three people who think they’re introverts because they believe that alone time is cool, that introverts are deep, that caring people are all introverts, etc.  But.  Well.  It ain’t true.  Or, if it is, they’re not introverts when I ever see them.  Whence the freaking mystique over being a person who likes alone time and who processes things internally?

I wish that I could snap out of it sometimes.

I can only imagine that being a father and an introvert are going to clash harshly.